Dr Adrienne Blackwood
by skylar1mr
Summary: Tragedy broke this couple apart, will he finally look at her? Or will she be too busy looking at someone else?
1. Chapter 1

I flipped the page of the gossip magazine, skimming the page for someone other than the Kardashians. I tapped the toe of my heels softly, as the elevator stopped at every floor to let more people on and off. Finally it reached the 3rd floor also known as the maternity floor, and i got off the elevator. I stopped at the nurse's station signing in and grabbing my patients charts for the day. My heels clicked beneath me, as i swayed down the hall of the busy hospital to my office. I set everything down on the desk, and sipped on my iced mocha latte. I was sure in for a busy day today, 3 scheduled c-sections, and 4 potential laborers. I was going to need every drop of energy i could get from that coffee, and 1.5 hours of sleep. Following in my mother's footsteps was harder than i ever imagined it would be, i can't even begin to imagine her raising two children and being married alongside this overtaking job. I can barely keep my husband from divorcing my sorry ass, and on top of that i can't have children. No matter how hard we tried, after two miscarriages we gave up, not only on having children, but on our relationship. Instead in turning to each other, we turned away. And just flat out stopped talking to each other, we don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. But were both too much of cowards to ask the other for a divorce, and even though it all, i love that man. More than i hate him. My pager beeped, stopping my mind from going to darker places. "Shit!" I forgot all about the hospital merger going on these next few weeks, and now i was being paged by the chief. Doctor's and nurses at Newyork-Presbyterian Hospital, have been getting fired all week preparing for the merger of employees coming from Mount Sinai Hospital. I sat my coffee down and hurried to the elevator to get to the chief's office where i was being paged.

I approached a long hallway full of people in uniform i've never seen before, must be the new people. As i walked past the groups of people, everyone turned to look. As if my heels signaled them to stare at me, i even received a cat call or two. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as i knocked on the office door. I heard Bailey call out for me to come in. I walked in to see Bailey standing side by side with a tall, handsome man, who looked to be around the same age as me. He was wearing a white lab coat, and navy blue scrubs underneath. "You paged me?" I spoke to Bailey. "Yes, i want you to meet Dr. Jaxton Montgomery." He smiled, holding out his hand to shake. I accepted it graciously, "Pleasure." He's definitely from the south, kentucky maybe? "Dr. Adrienne Blackwood." We released hands. "Chief Bailey here has told me great things about you, said if i ever needed anythin, you're the person to come to." I smiled. "Good to meet you, are you in Obstrictis?" He chuckled "Na, i'm the new head of Neuro." I nodded, confused as to why Bailey wanted us to meet. He must have noticed the confused look on my face because her laughed. "You must be just as confused as me." I laughed. Bailey stepped closer, addressing the confusion. "Dr. Montgomery here has the same last name as your mother's side, i just thought there was maybe some kind of family connection here?" I met eyes with Jaxton. "I assure you, we ain't related." I smiled. "Alrighty then, i figure i should be gettin to work." He reached for my hand again. "It was a pleasure." I blushed slightly as he left the room, my eyes never leaving him once. "Where's your husband?" Bailey asked me. "How should i know?" I asked walking out of the room.

I scrubbed my hands hard, wanting to get every trace of surgery off my hands. "Funny runnin into you again." I heard Jaxton say as he came through the door. "Hi there." He began scrubbing in the sink next to mine. "You starting?" I asked. "Yup, craniotomy. 54 year old male." I nodded wiping my hands off with some paper towels. "Sounds dangerous." He smiled. "That's what i do." He winked. My heart began to beat out of my chest. "Good luck." was all i managed to get out. He lifted his hands in the air, heading straight for the OR."Thanks darlin." Then he disappeared. "Adrienne stop." I told myself as i exited the room.

I sat my tray down on the table softly, joining Lisa and Claudine, my closest friends for lunch. "So I heard Mcyummy has a thing for you." Lisa teased. I looked at her confused "McYummy?" They both giggled. "That one new guy from mercy west Jax or something like that." Claudine answered. "Oh Jaxton Montgomery?" They nodded in unison. "Yeah that's the one, you know him?" Lisa gushed. I rolled my eyes "I'm married." They both laughed, snorted even. Causing the whole cafeteria to turn and look at us. "What's so funny about that." They both continued with their fits of laughter. "It's funny because you both act so single, we forget you're married." I looked down at my food, as the laughter died down. "If you're so unhappy, why don't you get a divorce?" Claudia asked, sipping on her latte. "I couldn't do that." Lisa snorted "Why can't you? He dosen't even know you exist anymore, not like he would be too bothered by it." I picked at my salad awkwardly. "No matter what, I love that man." Lisa sighed "But does he love you?"

I shut the heavy door behind me, slipping off my pumps and dropping my bag on the marble floor. I headed for the kitchen, in dire need for food, I dug through the fridge. Finally I decided on some leftover Chinese food, I sat down and began to pick at it. Since me and Roman are never home, we don't cook. It's not like either one of us can Anyways. I grew up being pampered on every second, both my parents were famous surgeons so we had great money. My mother also had her 30million dollar trust fund, still to this day I never understood why she even became a doctor, lord knows she had plenty of money before. She would always tell me she became a doctor because she wanted to, not because she had too. Sometimes I even wonder why I wanted to become a doctor, pick the same profession of my mother even. Maybe because I wanted to please my parents? Maybe because I wanted too? Who knows, all I know is that I love my job. I poured myself a glass of wine as the phone rang. "Hello mother." I took a sip. "Hello dear, how are you?" "I'm doing good, how are you and dad?" I took another sip. "We're doing great sweetie, it's a little different now that Henry is back at the house. But we are adjusting, our children are always welcome." I rolled my eyes. "Henry is back? What did his hooker girlfriend dump him again?" My mom sighed. "Yup, she's pregnant with another man's baby." I laughed. "You sure it's not his?" I heard my mom take a sip of wine as well. "That's what he says. Hey! Maybe I'll finally be a grandmother!" I snorted. "Not my fault." She hummed. "Oh I know baby. I'm sorry." I took a big gulp of my wine. "It's okay. Hey, I'll have to call you tomorrow. I'm real tired, and I have to be at work early tomorrow." She sighed. "Alright, I love you Adrienne." "I love you too mom, give dad a kiss for me." "Will do." I hung up the phone and sighed, finishing off my glass of wine and pouring another. "It's gonna be a long night." I said to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

I slammed my manicured hand down on my alarm clock, as it made its usual constant beeping noise. I groaned as i threw the blankets off of me, and heading for the

shower. I fished around my walk-in closet, looking for something to wear. I settled on a black Calvin Klein sleeveless sable dress, with black Louis Vuitton pumps and a

long diamond necklace. I straightened my long blonde hair, and applied my makeup to my fresh face. I puffed my Gucci perfume all over my figure, and grabbed my

white Chanel purse and rose gold iphone. I headed downstairs, spotting Roman sitting at the bar sipping his coffee. I reached inside the fridge for my salad. "Good

morning to you too." He said from the inside of his coffee mug. "I'm running late." I said as i rushed towards the door. "As always." he teased. "Shutup" i smiled as i

hurried out the door. He actually spoke to me, that's an improvement. I smiled

"I'm here, i'm here." I stated as i strutted into the patient's room, grabbing the chart from one of the interns. I read over it; 34 year old female, 36 weeks pregnant;

baby's organs are growing outside of its body; Wants to have a procedure to have organs put inside the baby's body while still in womb. "Dr. Jesus, please present." He

explained the procedure to everyone in the room for the final time before surgery. "Mrs. Garcia, you do understand that if i cannot do this surgery, we will have to take

your son out 4 weeks premature?" I asked the expecting mother. "Yes, Dr. Blackwood. We understand, im just hoping you can do it without having to come down to

drastic measures." I smiled, holding her hand. "I'm going to do the best i can." She smiled shyly. "They don't call you the best for nothing." I laughed. "Don't let my

mother hear you say that." She laughed too. "Dr. Jesus, get Mrs. Gracia prepped for surgery and into the OR. We're gonna fix that baby today."

I could feel his eyes on my the whole surgery, from up in the observatory he was watching me. And it made me nervous, my hands were shaking, and I was sweating.

Everyone around me was confused, I never ever seemed nervous during surgery. I was always confident and prepared, so for them to see me like this was pretty scary.

I clipped the last stitch on the baby, and pulled the sticks from the mother's belly. "All done, Dr. Stone? Would you like to close?" The intern looked surprised. "Yes of

course, thank you Dr. Blackwood." I stepped back, observing quietly as the intern sewed up the woman's stomach. I looked up at the observatory and saw him smiling

at me, I quickly looked back down at the patient. "All done." The intern said with happiness. "Grey job Dr. Stone." She smiled under her mask. "Thank you ma'am." I

then exited the room, scrubbing out of surgery. I removed my gloves, cap, mask, and suit before washing my hands. "Good job in there." I turned to see him smiling

behind me. "I heard you were good at what you do, now I definitely believe it." He praised, walking closer to me. "Did you doubt me before?" I questioned. "Maybe just a

little he teased." I dried my hands with paper towels and turned to face him. "Don't you have brains to be cutting into?" He smiled. "Not at the moment darlin." My

heart skipped a beat. "So I met your husband today." A mischievous look crossing his face. I rolled my eyes. "And?" "No wonder you here flirting with me, then eatin

lunch with him." I laughed. "Flirting huh?" I teased. He leaned in closer, causing my breath to stop. "I think I just might like you Dr. Blackwood." I laughed softly. "I

might just like you too Dr. Montgomery." Our eyes just started into each other's for a split second. Our pagers both beeped in sync, and I stepped back checking mine.

"Trauma?" I asked. "Yeah, you?" I opened the door, rushing with quick pace. "Same." He smiled, catching up to me. "Well ain't I one lucky guy today?" He winked at

me.

We ran into the pit at the same time, I stopped in my tracks. The place was full of bloody people, screaming and crying. "What happened?" I asked the nearest intern.

"Subway crash." I swallowed hard. "Dr. Blackwood!" Dr. Shepard called my name, causing me to rush over to him. "What is it?" I asked. "18 year old female, 27 weeks

pregnant. Was involved in the crash, she's unresponsive. "Someone get me an ultrasound!" I yelled, as I pressed on the young girl's stomach, praying for the baby to

move. "Here's the ultrasound Dr. Blackwood" I quickly turned it on, pressing it the the girl's stomach. I looked closely at the screen "She's bleeding in her stomach, the

baby can't get oxygen. We need an OR now!" I yelled out.

I focused hard at saving this mother and baby, and not on the gorgeous man poking around in the patient's brain. "More suction!" I called out. The monitor started

beeping loudly, blocking my brain. "Baby's BP is dropping." I dug further looking for a bleed. "Come on, come on." I searched for a bleed, not finding one single tear. "Dr.

BlackWood, I need you to hurry." Jaxton said from beside the head of the patient. "I can't find the tear." I checked the fetal monitor, baby's BP was lower than before.

"I'm going to have to take the baby out." I said quickly removing my hands from the abdomen, and reaching for the scalpel. "The baby's only 27 weeks!" He protested.

"Unless you want it to suffocate and die, I have to take it out. A baby's viable after 22 weeks." I sliced open the sack and pulled the baby out, not hearing any cries. I

cut the cord and ran over to the table where the non breathing baby was lying. "There's no heartbeat." The intern said to me. "Start CPR, we're gonna have to

incubate." The CPR got the baby's heart to start again, and the tube was inserted into the baby's mouth. "Get him to an incubator right away, get his meds and watch

him closely. I'll be there as soon as I can." I rushed back over to the mother's open abdomen. "Let's find this bleed." I dig deeper into the organ, praying to find the

bleed. "Any luck?" He asked me. "Ah, I found it. It's along the vagional wall." I said quickly, applying pressure. I sutured the tear and suctioned the blood out of her

stomach, closing her up. "All done." I said aloud. "Nice work Dr. Blackwood." He praised me. "Why thank you Dr. Montgomery."

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" I whined to my dearest friends. "My surgery had more complications than planned." I explained as I hugged them. I heard you had a surgery

with Mcyummy?" Claudine teased. "Why must you call him that?" I rolled my eyes as I joined them at the bar. "Because he's so yummy." Lisa chimed in. I looked

towards the bartender laughing. "Red wine." I ordered, sliding my credit card towards him. "So how was it?" I turned towards her. "How was what?" She giggled. "Being

in so close quarters with Jax?" I dipped my wine. "He's a very attractive man, but need I remind you I'm a married woman." Claudine rolled her eyes. "Here we go with

that married shit again." I have her a look. "Well, we did sort of have a moment in the scrub room." Lisa choked on her drink. "Um, details." She begged. "Well he told

me he met my husband, then accused me of flirting with him. Then he like stepped closer right a our pagers went off." Claudine smiled from ear to ear. "Oh my god!

That's amazing. You need some fun in your life, just let loose and see where it goes." I gulped the rest of my wine. "You both are terrible friends." We all laughed, and I

felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Jaxton standing behind me. "Adrienne, funny running into you here." He smiled, shaking my hand. "You stalking me now?" I

teased. "If that means seeing you're pretty face more, then yes I will stalk you." I blushed. Claudine cleared her thought, causing both of us to look at her. "Oh, Jaxton

these are my friends Claudine and Lisa. They are also doctors at the hospital." He charmed them both with his smile. "Pleasure to meet both y'all." Claudine kicked my

foot aggressively. "You want something to drink?" I asked gesturing to the seat next to me. "Don't mind if I do." He smiled sitting down. "Scotch." He said to the

bartender. "Tell me about yourself Dr. Blackwood." He questioned. "What do you want to know?" I flirted looking him in the eyes. "Everything." I smiled, taking a sip of

wine. "Well I was born into a wealthy family of two famous doctors Addison Forbes Montgomery and Mark Sloan. I have an older brother by three years Henry, who was

recently dumped by his pregnant hooker girlfriend." He laughed "Uh, I graduated high school a year early. Which explains why I'm younger than anyone, went to college

at Yale. Went to med school, got married. Lost my baby, lost another baby. Completed my internship and residency and got head of my department." I smiled at him.

"Quite a story." He didn't know what to say. "How about you?" I questioned, drinking the rest of his scotch. "I too was born into quite wealth, my mamma is Tammy

Wynette famous country singer. And my Daddy was a farmer from Tennessee, I have 3 older sisters and a dog named buddy. Grew up on a farm in Tennessee, mamma

wasn't around a lot due to her career. But I graduated with honors, went to college at Harvard then medschool. Then decided to move to the big city for my real career,

and loved it ever since. Now I'm sitting in the bar next to a pretty girl who just happens to be married." He smiled brightly, and I laughed. "What do your sisters do?" He

scratched his head. "Trisha, the oldest got married and had 4 little babies. Shania, the 2nd oldest is a hair stylist back in our small town. And Britt is an aspiring artist

living in LA." I nodded sipping on my wine. "Your brother?" He questioned. "Don't even get me started. Henry is a bit of a man who're. He shakes anything with a pulse

and a vagina, which got him in his current predicament. He was a Science professor at Yale, but he quit to be with his hooker girlfriend. And she leaves him and gets

pregnant with someone else, so he moves back in with our parents." He was looking at my deeply. "Sounds like a troubled kid." I smiled softly. "Just a fool who thought

love actually existed." Sadness came across his expression. "You don't believe in love?" He asked. "The only man who's ever told me he loved me refuses to speak to

me. What kind of love is that?" I threw back my wine, feeling tipsy. "He obviously doesn't understand how mgreat you are. I would kill to have a woman like you." My

heart raced. "A woman like me, or me?" He looked deep in my eyes, and leaned closer to my ear. "You." The feel of his breath on my neck have me the chills, and my

knees to wobble. "Adrienne, it's 10 time to go." The bartender said to me, causing Jaxton to pull away. I silently cursed him for ruining my moment. "I'll drive you,

you've had too much to drink tonight." I laughed "Why thank you Dr. Montgomery." He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar, the chilly New York air hitting my

cold face. "Here." He said as he slid his jacket around my shoulders. "You're so sweet to me. I like you." I slurred. "I like you too Adrienne." He helped me into his car

and turned on the heat. "I don't remember how to get home." I laughed from the seat next to him. "Well I guess you'll just have to crash at my apartment." i quietly

faded to sleep along to the busy sounds of New York.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up to a throbbing headache, and nausea hitting me all at once. I groaned, pulling the blanket up over my head, what's is that smell? Smells like food. Roman never cooks, plus he has work today. Wait, this blanket isn't mine. Where am I? I threw the blanket off me, and looked around the room I have as in. I didn't recognize anything in the room, I looked to my right and saw a picture of Jaxton and a woman who looked like his mother. "How the hell did I get here?" I took on of the aspirin sitting on the end table, and stood up. Immediately regretting it, and hurting to the bathroom to vomit. I rinsed my mouth out, looking in the mirror seeing me wearing a shirt I've never seen before. I walked out of the bathroom, following the smell. "Good morning sunshine." Jaxton said to me as I entered the kitchen. "What the hell happened last night?" I asked sittings at the bar. "At the bar you got super drunk, and couldn't remember how to get home so I brought you here." I rubbed my temples, completely embarrassed. "We didn't? Did we?" He laughed. "No, I slept on the couch." I took a sip of the coffee in front of me. "But you took my clothes off?" I teased. He smiled as he flipped the pancake. "I got absolutely no pleasure from that." I laughed. "You hungry?" He asked Hanson me a plate full of food. "Not really." He smiled. "Well I was raised to always make breakfast for a woman who spends the night." I took another sip. "Southern hospitality." He laughed. "Yes." I heard my phone ringing from somewhere. "Where's my purse?" I asked standing up. "By the door." I ran over to the door, answering my phone quickly. "Adrienne?" My mother asked. "Mom?" "Where are you?" I was confused. "At a friends, why?" She sighed. "We wanted to surprise you, we're at your house." I took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll be right there." "Alright dear." Jaxton came out of the kitchen. "Who's that?" I out my phone back in my bag walking past him. "My mom, she came to visit. Where are my clothes?" He threw the towel over his shoulder. "Dryer." I raced out the house looking for my clothes, then my shoes, finally I thanked Jaxton and hurried out the door.

I applied my lip gloss In the mirror on the elevator, trying to look as non hungover as possible. I put my key in the door, and pushed it open slowly. Not prepared to deal with the questions of my whereabouts be known to everyone. I tried to quietly tiptoe to the bedroom but my mom saw me. "Adrienne!" She called out with joy. "Mom!" I called back accepting her hug. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "We missed you." I saw my father appear behind my mother. "Hi daddy." He kissed the top of my head. "Hey princess." "Long time no see." I heard Henry's voice from behind my parents. "Oh no, you brought the screw up." My mom playfully hit my shoulder, be nice. I hugged Henry faintly, "Did you gain weight?" He teased. I hit him in the chest. "How's your girlfriend?" He hit me back. "Not fair." I laughed. "Roman was paged to the hospital, but he said he'll be back before dinner." Awesome. "Great." I plastered a smile on my face. My father studied my face. "Is everything okay? Did he do something? Cause I'll kick his ass!" He was getting angry. "No daddy, everything is fine. I promise." I put my hand on his arm. "Adrienne?" My mom questioned, concern in her eyes. "I'll help your father." My heart raced. "Nothing happened, I promise." I heard my pager from my purse. I rushed over to look at it, it was the baby from yesterday she wasn't breathing. "911, I have to go." I said running out the door. "We're coming!" My parents and brother ran after me.

I finally got to the hospital, running through the doors and up to the NICU. "What happened?" I asked rushing over to the baby. "I-I don't know, sh-she just stopped breathing." The intern was scared and confused. "Get the hell out of the way of you don't know what to do!" I heard my mother order. "Continue compressions! Mother, what are you doing?" She ignored me, watching the baby's monitor. "She's having a stroke Adrienne!" I was searching for a heartbeat "I know that!" I yelled back "She needs surgery! Now!" I nodded my head to the nurse. "Book the OR!" We began wheeling the baby down the hallway quickly. "Mom you can go now." I yelled over the patient. "No way, it's been years since I've been in an OR."

I stood with my arms crossed observing the baby's monitor, listening to my mother chat it up with Jaxton. "My ex husband is a Neurosurgeon." My mother said bluntly, causing me to cringe and Jaxton laughed observing my face. "So I've heard, Derek Shepard right?" She nodded watching him operate closely. "Mom, you can go now. I've got it covered." I begged. She met my eyes and gave me a look. "Nice try, I'm staying." I rolled my eyes. "I like Dr. Montgomery-Sloan here, to keep me company. Since you only seem to be a talker when you've had a few drinks." My eyes nearly came out of their sockets. My mom looked from Jaxton to me, a questioning look on her face. "All done, just gotta close her up." He said aloud to break the silence. "The baby doesn't seem to be in distress anymore, good work Dr. Montgomery." I praised, removing my mask and leaving the room.


	4. Chapter 4

My mother followed behind my closely, hurrying to the front of me. "What was that?" She asked, blocking my walk path. "What was what?" I played surprised, causing her to cross her arms. "That thing with Dr. Hunk in there." I pushed past her to scrub out. "I don't know what your talking about." She gave me a look. "Adrienne, dont talk to me like i am stupid. I know what i saw, and apparently the only time you two talk is when you're drunk." I turned to look at her. "Mom stop, stop trying to get involved with my life. We are co-workers, and yes last night we went out for drinks and we talked. Nothing more, so stop." She pursed her lips together, in the famous Addison Montgomery way. "Don't be like me." I stopped scrubbing and looked at her. "What?" She uncrossed her arms and looked down. "Don't cheat Adrienne, if your not happy the leave but don't cheat." My eyes grew wide. "Is that what you think this is? I haven't cheated on Roman, and don't have any plans to. HOW DARE YOU accuse me of such thing." I dried my hands and pushed past her out the door.

I swiftly walked out of the building, it was dark and i was tired. I actually considered staying with Claudia tonight so i wouldn't have to deal with my mother or my husband. But i figured that i would have to be a big girl sometime and face the fury. "Adrienne!" Jaxton called from behind me. I rolled my eyes and turned to face him. "What?" I asked a bit of rudeness in my tone. His face fell "What's wrong?" He asked concerned. I snorted and continued to walk to my car. "Hey, stop." He grabbed my arm, and pulled me back. "What's the matter hon?" I pulled away from his grasp. "STOP IT!" I yelled "STOP ASKING ME WHAT'S WRONG, STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY LIFE, QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU CARE! STOP FLIRTING WITH ME, STOP TAKING ME BACK TO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKING SURE I'M OKAY! STOP" I saw the hurt on his face. "Adrienne, i…" I cut him off by waving my hand in the air. "I'm married, and i have no intentions of cheating on my husband and being named a whore. Stop trying to talk to me, unless you have a pregnant patient." With that i turned and continued to my car, leaving him standing there dumbfounded.

I took a big sip of wine as everyone chatted away at the table. My dad tapped my leg underneath the table "Are you okay?" He mouthed, i nodded and smiled back at him. "So Roman, how are things at work going?" Henry asked. He wiped his mouth on the napkin. "Great actually, i'm working a new type of gear soldiers can wear out in the field to protect their inner organs from injury with explosives." I sipped my wine as everyone watched him intently, my fucking perfect over here. I feel bad for what i said to Jaxton, who knows if he even was romantically interested. Hell, i didn't even give the man a chance to speak. Maybe i should call him? No, why the hell do i even care? Just because i was fawning all over some guy, doesn't mean he wants me. But he definitely was flirting with me, always calling me Darling, and pretty. Gosh i loved it when he called me darling, with his cute little accent. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly, he did take my drunk ass out of a bar and took care of me. "Adrienne?" I was brought back into reality by my mother waving her hand in the air. "Sorry what?" I asked. "Got something on your mind?" Roman asked me. I shook my head and took another bite of food. "No, i was just thinking about this patient i had earlier today. She's 15 and pregnant, and she doesn't want the baby. Like why wouldn't you be more careful, rather than giving away an innocent child?" Roman shook his head. "Some people just don't have their head screwed on straight. She should feel blessed to even have a child." The room grew quiet, and my heart broke. She should feel so incredibly lucky, i've wanted to be a mother my entire life. And i can't ever be one, and she is one and doesn't want to be one. How screwed up is that? "I'm gonna get some more wine." I stood up breaking the silence and leaving the room.


	5. Chapter 5

I took a big sip of wine as everyone chatted away at the table. My dad tapped my leg underneath the table "Are you okay?" He mouthed, i nodded and smiled back at him. "So Roman, how are things at work going?" Henry asked. He wiped his mouth on the napkin. "Great actually, i'm working a new type of gear soldiers can wear out in the field to protect their inner organs from injury with explosives." I sipped my wine as everyone watched him intently, my fucking perfect over here. I feel bad for what i said to Jaxton, who knows if he even was romantically interested. Hell, i didn't even give the man a chance to speak. Maybe i should call him? No, why the hell do i even care? Just because i was fawning all over some guy, doesn't mean he wants me. But he definitely was flirting with me, always calling me Darling, and pretty. Gosh i loved it when he called me darling, with his cute little accent. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly, he did take my drunk ass out of a bar and took care of me. "Adrienne?" I was brought back into reality by my mother waving her hand in the air. "Sorry what?" I asked. "Got something on your mind?" Roman asked me. I shook my head and took another bite of food. "No, i was just thinking about this patient i had earlier today. She's 15 and pregnant, and she doesn't want the baby. Like why wouldn't you be more careful, rather than giving away an innocent child?" Roman shook his head. "Some people just don't have their head screwed on straight. She should feel blessed to even have a child." The room grew quiet, and my heart broke. She should feel so incredibly lucky, i've wanted to be a mother my entire life. And i can't ever be one, and she is one and doesn't want to be one. How screwed up is that? "I'm gonna get some more wine." I stood up breaking the silence and leaving the room. I rinsed off the last plate and placed it in the dishwasher, as my parents entered the kitchen. "Were gonna get going dear." She kissed my cheek. "It was good to see you." He kissed my forehead. I smiled forcefully and nodded as they headed out the door. "Don't beat yourself up too hard, you're too good of a person." Henry brushed my hair out of my face. "I'm not as good as you think." He sighed and followed my parents out the door. I sighed and threw the rag onto the counter top, swallowing my last sip of wine. "You okay?" I looked up to see Roman leaning on the entryway, with his arms crossed. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I turned away from him and began wiping off the counter again. It was silent for a good minute or two, I continued to scrub waiting for him to walk away so I could cry. "Listen…" my heart began to race. "I don't know what's going on with us… Our careers have taken over our lives, and it seems like we don't have time for each other anymore." I stopped scrubbing and listened, but not turning around. "I want to fix this, I don't want to get a divorce, I don't want a failure marriage. I want you, I want us." I bit my lip hard, trying to stop the tears. I've wanted him to say those words for so long, for years all I've wanted was for him to just speak to me. Now he finally is, and I don't feel how I thought I would. Why am I not jumping with joy? Why am I not leaping into his arms, and making sweet love to my HUSBAND? What's is wrong with me? "I've always wanted you." I turned to face him. "That's never not been true, I've always wanted you." I held back the rest of my words. That was going to have to do for now, because the happiness on his face stopped me from saying how I really felt. And I guess that was how it's going to be, his happiness over mine. He stepped closer and embraced me warmly, my body was still frozen and the tears now falling from my eyes. This isnt what I wanted.


End file.
